The first time he saw the ocean, he ran to it with the fury of a dog to its food. He had no fear - only wonder and excitement. I raced after, grabbing the little hand and keeping him at a safe depth. Water crashed over his toes; the sand under his feet pulled away as the water receded. As he inched deeper into the waves, a stronger current yanked at the ground under his feet - then a larger wave splashed up to his chest. He looked up with eyes wide, ready to retreat. "Momma hold you," he cried to me, reaching his hands up toward my neck. I snatched him up and planted him in the sand, a safe distance from the coming tide. For a while, he played with buckets and shovels, and I hauled the ocean to him in buckets so that he could still splash away from the danger of the open water.
Soon, he noticed his brother and cousins playing tag with the waves. Their laughter called him back towards the water. I followed closely as he approached, this time slower than before. Eventually, we found a nice spot just where the water lapped calmly to the sand. We sat together, playing in the sandy slime that rested below us. A wave broke close to us, and water once again licked his toes. He laughed and waited for another wave. "Here comes, here comes!" we screamed together as the water came toward us. Then again, one big crash sent us back to the safety of the dry sand - to repeat our play with buckets and shovels and second-hand ocean. This went on for most of the day as the whole family rested by the water - enjoying the sun and breeze in the Outer Banks. The sand and sticky salt water have never been my favorite, but helping my little one navigate this new landscape was well worth the irritation. I loved seeing the joy in his face when the cold water surprised him. I loved seeing his trepidation just the same. This particular child shows little fear - he jumps, climbs, swims, slides, and runs without any hesitation. Watching him in the ocean, though, I couldn't help but be proud of him for figuring out something about the world. The ocean is both exciting and scary. See, for his mama, when the water is to COLD or ROUGH or DEEP, retreat is the only response. The inconvenience of the consequences of a day at the ocean will keep me away - for good. The water is cold. The surface below is unstable. The waves are unpredictable. The sandy spot just above the breaking water removes us from danger. Still, my little guy is more brave than his mama. He knew that after some time, the sand starts to scratch and the sun starts to burn. Relief comes from returning to the water - scary as it is. This shockingly unstable and unpredictable world is where we live. I am grateful that this experience showed him this. More so, I'm glad that he chose to meet the water again and again - pulling my hand along for the ride.
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Diana CurtisWife, mom, stepmom, writing instructor, handbell ringer, choir singer, calligrapher, and expert napper. Archives
December 2017
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